After weeks of feeling completely out of sync with my body, I started back at the beginning. With the first medicine card - Eagle. Eagle represents Spirit, breath, balance, and the connection to the divine. Their feathers are sacred healing tools, and in this time of trying to rediscover my body, there is no better start. I practiced this morning - flapped my wings, took deep breaths.
Honesty time: I've been afraid to film myself practicing because I am afraid of what my body looks like. Exhaustion, illness, and a new pregnancy have left me unsure of what my body even feels like - much less looks like - anymore.
But Jessamyn Stanley inspired me this morning to finally set up my phone and film myself for the first time. She said: "yoga has a visibility problem." And she is so right. My body is as much of a yoga body as anyone else's. As I practiced this morning, tears welled up in my eyes - my yoga practice is where I feel most like myself, where I can finally hear my own thoughts.
Tears welled up in my eyes - how much I have missed this. I have been toeing the line of losing myself in too much work and environments where everyone wants to eat your energy. My reserves have been running low. Yesterday, my husband took a huge step toward shifting us into a nourishing and thriving phase of lives together - and so here I am. Tears of gratitude. A body that has held on by a thread but has held on regardless. Here I am - practicing.
How has your practice been lately? What does Eagle mean to you? How have you been working on loving yourself a little more?